She Had a Suitcase Full of Noble Intentions.
Dear God, is that a cobweb I see in the upper right-hand corner?
So I’ve been somewhat of a neglectful blogger. So much so, in fact, that I don’t even recognize the WordPress dashboard anymore. It took me a few minutes to figure out how to post!
The last few months were not easy. I had a difficult courseload and a new job that was a definite trial by fire. And my job still scares me, frankly. It’s hard and humbling and wonderful and a mix of good and bad, but mostly good. I am still not very good at it, or not as good as I’d like to be, but it’s been a valuable experience all around.
It’s difficult to sum up three months that have gone virtually unrecapped, so I’ll attempt to hit on the memorable parts in bullet form:
- I dressed like a drag queen. Twice.
- I handed out countless condoms and dental dams and helped put on a really great safer-sex workshop that inspired at least one student to get tested for HIV.
- I coordinated a live shadow cast performance and screening for The Rocky Horror Picture Show helped assemble over 200 bags of props for audience members to throw during the movie.
- This led to sweeping up approximately 200 pieces of toast, 15 lbs of rice and nearly 1,000 playing cards after all was said and done.
- I laughed a lot and bonded with coworkers.
- I cried, too. A lot.
- I discovered I never, ever, at any point in my life, wish to go to law school. EVER.
- I wrote a vernacular criticism of an OutKast album for school credit.
- My relationship turned three years old and continued to kick ass, even though I rarely saw my husband, who last week broke my heart when he said, “I’ve really missed you.”
- I voted for President-elect Barack Obama. Still so amazing to say.
- I had Thanksgiving with my family and a bunch of complete strangers and had a ridiculously good time.
- I turned 28.
- I had a terrifying justify-your-existence conference to move forward with my degree and survived it.
- I drank a lot of 5-Hour Energy.
- I survived a grueling last week of school, only to come down with tonsillitis in the home stretch.
I have a lot of resolutions for the new year and the new quarter. I need to be more organized, pay more attention to detail, and delegate more to my staff and volunteers. I need to take better care of myself in many ways — sleeping more, eating better, making time for the gym and “me time”, and spending more time with my best friend in the world.
But I also discovered that I really need this blog. I have really missed having a place for reckoning and sorting shit out, yet I would constantly tell myself I had higher priorities than blogging. I was wrong to dismiss it as unimportant, though. I have missed the community and also the forced time spent alone, having conversations with myself and putting some order to my thoughts. I lament the missed opportunities to explore the amazing experiences I’ve had and new ideas and theories I’ve discovered.
I resolve to put more order into my life, and blogging is part of maintaining that order, among many other things I neglected to do for myself. My preparation for the last quarter was akin to how I often end up packing before a long trip. In fact, a poorly packed suitcase is pretty much the perfect metaphor for the past three months: too much shit I didn’t need, some essential items forgotten, and what was in the case was stuffed into it frantically, crumpled into little balls and tossed in haphazardly.
And so I resolve to start packing my suitcase with more care, both literally and metaphorically. I will take out the items I don’t need and neatly fold the ones I do. I will put them into the case with some sense of order and organization. I might find, once I’ve done so, that I have room for some items I forgot to pack last time, those essential items I always seem to forget about until I’ve arrived at my destination and slap my forehead, wondering how I’ll get through my trip without, say, a toothbrush, or my cellphone charger. I will live a more organized life that is equally full, but with order, sense, and an idea of what my needs will be once I arrive at my destination.
Entry filed under: dumbfuckery, family, friends, life stuff, school, work. Tags: blogging, husband, LGBTA, order, organization, pretty white girl problems, queer activism, relationshit, rhetoric, school, solitude, stress, stupid shit, time management, work suck, writing.