Sick Day Part Deux: Kitchen Nightmares
After battling a persistent sore throat, body aches and on again off again fever for four days, I dragged myself to the doctor this morning, who had to look at my throat for about five seconds before announcing, “Oh, that’s strep. I don’t even have to do a test. I mean, I can if you want, but that’s textbook strep.”
I was oddly proud that my pharynx looked like a textbook picture for strep throat. Is that weird? Anyway, he did the test, and now I have a handy bottle of amoxicillin, some Ben and Jerry’s sorbet and an intense case of the boredom. I went home sick yesterday after trucking through three hours of work, so this is day two. I actually feel better today than I did yesterday, which I feel speaks volumes about how good my immune system is without penicillins, and I am so over sitting at home already. Work actually sounds fun after two days of daytime television and trashy celebrity “news” rags. Hey, did you know that Brittney Spears is crazy now?
Frankly, the only reason I didn’t go to work today is because, you know, what kind of asshole goes to work after the doctor says, “Strep”? Hi coworkers, I love you so much, so here’s a nasty throat infection!
The only time I realize I’m sick is when I try to accomplish a simple task like lunch and discover that my faculties are extremely dampened, as I end up covering every inch of my kitchen in coffee grounds—including the skillet where I was preparing my grilled cheese and on the sandwich itself— and follow up with a triumphant encore wherein I ignite a paper towel on the stove as I attempt to clean up my mess. I can now, however, declare with 100% certainty that grilled cheese and coarse-ground Kenyan coffee is not the scintillating taste sensation it sounds like it should be, so no need to try that one out if you’re curious.