Goody goody angst.
I have never been so angsty about the following two things:
-being in a class where the grade is based entirely on essays.
Because, you know, it’s always really annoyed me that people get good grades when they can’t fucking write, you know? Why should that person get a B when they deserve a C? It makes my A look bad!
-Getting an A- on a paper. That’s a good grade!
Nevertheless, I just got my first essay back from my writing class (finally), and rather than focusing on the praise (she wants to use it as an example for future classes and hopes I will submit it to the school literary anthology), I am focused on the grade and wishing that we had some nice easy homework assignments or an attendance grade to give me some cushion. Attendance counts, but only negatively, in that you will be docked a full letter grade for missing more than three classes – yikes.
I got a 90%. A-. Before you hurl garbage at me, hear me out. Up until now, I have maintained a cumulative 4.0. But this paper is a quarter of my grade and an A- jeopardizes my chances at keeping my GPA. I will pretty much have to bust ass on my other two essays and my final project to get As on those. But the thing is, I busted my ass on that first paper! I really can’t imagine performing better than I did (which is a sad though in and of itself, if I’m going to do this professionally). Unfortunately, I don’t feel I have it in me to even write as well as I did in that first paper for this second one, let alone better, and it’s due Thursday. My muses better fucking get with the program and instill in me a goddamn A paper.
So, while I am angsting about that, I am also angsting about how stupid it is that I’m bent out of shape over a perfectly decent grade.
Anyway, rather than work on my craft, I’m going to change into some stompy shoes and go see Chemlab, USSA and Skeleton Key with my friend Alexarc, because I figure I could really stand to lose some of this angst by thrashing around to industrial music for a while.
Entry filed under: Uncategorized.