I’ll have to develop a talent for catchy titles at some point

November 2, 2007 at 6:38 pm 9 comments

I thought it might be a good idea to introduce myself early on in my blogging endeavors, even though most of my readers already know me from my LiveJournal or, like, giving birth to me (Hi Moms!) I think the best way to do that is by telling you five things about me that you wouldn’t know unless I told you., some of them useless trivia, and others, inklings into what future content you might expect herein:

1) I have two moms. That is not unusual with the current divorce rate, but my moms are married to each other. They make each other very happy and raise alpacas. I mention this first, (my moms, not the alpacas, which I don’t think are terribly controversial) because one of my largest interests, one I will no doubt blog about in the future, is gay rights, especially marriage rights. I am pissed that this issue has fallen off the political radar, and I’m likely to rant and/or snark about it here.

2) I have what I have termed spatial retardation. I have absolutely no sense of direction. My husband is baffled at this, but I can only learn to get to a place by going there, by the same route, at least five times. Never ask me for a short cut, as I usually only know one way to get to any given place.
3) I am unable to drink a bottled beverage without peeling off the label. I don’t know whether it’s simply a fidgetor some deeper compulsion. This drove my ex-boyfriend a little crazy, because we lived in a state with redemption values, and apparently this habit is essentially throwing that five cents away because they won’t take it back without the label. Maybe it’s part of the reason I choose to live in Washington, where people will recycle just for the good of it, not because of the cash prizes.
4) I hate cucumbers passionately. I will not even eat the bits of salad that touched the cucumber, because they taste too “cucumbery”. That said, I could probably eat a jar of dill pickles in one sitting with a smile on my water-retaining face. No sweet pickles, though. Gag.

5) I am child free. I will also probably talk about this a lot in my blog. I don’t hate kids—at least not all of them—and I don’t hate people who choose to have them, though people who choose to have busloads of them do piss me off. I just don’t want any, okay? Lay off! Really, you wouldn’t believe the number of people who condescendingly tell me I’ll change my mind. I’m fairly curious when these people think my maternal spark will flare; perhaps when I am having my first hot flashes? My husband and I both plan to be sterilized in the near future, at which time a few of our friends will have to settle their secret wager over whether our next hospital trips will be to the urologist and gynecologist, respectively, or to the maternity ward.

Having just recently watched Knocked Up, I can assure you, it won’t be the latter.

So that’s some stuff about me. If you are a reader I don’t already know, go ahead and say hi. If you’re someone I know already, let me know you found the place alright.

Also, I am in search of a better banner image. The one I’m currently using is a picture of WA-99. I like the arrows pointing to the left because I am left-handed and left-leaning. However, I would like something a bit more, I don’t know, interesting. My friend Jimmy was kind enough to submit his own handiwork, but I will not be using it, as it depicted a rather goatse-esque image, and while I appreciate Jimmy’s artistic vision, it’s not something I want to look at on a daily basis or ever, ever again.I must also urge you, if you don’t know what goatse is, do not give into curiosity and go trawling the internet in search of further insight.

Especially if your name is My Mom.


Entry filed under: life stuff, marriage, motherhood, politics. Tags: , , , , , , .

NaBloPoMo/Happy birthday to my new blog. Performance Art.

9 Comments Add your own

  • 1. kdiddy  |  November 3, 2007 at 1:43 pm

    I can understand not wanting to have children, but…YOU DON’T LIKE CUCUMBERS?!?!?

  • 2. Jimmy  |  November 3, 2007 at 6:06 pm

    Oh goatse. Where would the world be without goatse?

  • 3. snarking  |  November 3, 2007 at 6:47 pm

    A world where I don’t know what an anus looks like inside out. I’m okay with living in that world.

  • 4. Shelley  |  November 3, 2007 at 8:10 pm

    This is great and just what the world needs. I miss hearing your opinions on everything and anything. Almost as much as I miss you!

    – Shell

    P.S. Cash prize = hilarious and oh so true.

  • 5. Megs  |  November 4, 2007 at 11:45 pm

    I also suffer from spacial retardation. Glad to know I’m not alone.

  • 6. Gordon  |  November 5, 2007 at 5:47 pm

    bwahahahaha goatse. Did you ever see the very goatse-esque TIME Magazine cover that some designer somehow snuck through?

  • 7. Idetrorce  |  December 15, 2007 at 9:33 am

    very interesting, but I don’t agree with you

  • 8. snarking  |  December 15, 2007 at 9:38 am

    About what? Cucumbers?

  • 9. Tanya  |  January 26, 2008 at 5:27 pm

    “Really, you wouldn’t believe the number of people who condescendingly tell me I’ll change my mind”

    Me too. It drives me nuts!


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